OP/ED: The Missing Republican Riots

MONTGOMERY COUNTY, TX -- This column may upset some. And quite frankly, I don’t care about Democrats feelings, but it needed to be written.

I was sitting in my new favorite dive bar in Conroe’s Switch, talking with some new friends, when a beautiful South African emigrate, now an American citizen, said something to me that I thought was so profound; that my brain stopped.

“Where were the GOP Riots after President Trump was shot?”

My God, what an incredible statement, and I doubt anyone else in Our Country had thought of that. There are so few references to the topic. Perhaps there was one riot in Miami that I never heard of, and ‘Jan 6th,’ if you can call that a riot, and that narrative is falling apart quicker than a Joe Biden diaper change.

So why didn’t I riot? Why didn’t my fellow Republicans riot?

All of us Republicans had good cause to riot. Our President (Trump, not Biden) had just been shot ‘For Christ’s Sake,’ so we all needed to blow off some steam, which could have easily been handled at a local Sam’s Walmart, or Costo; with a little flash mob action running in and stealing whatever we needed. I could use a ‘five finger discount’ myself. I need a new iPad, not for me, but as a gift to my great-niece. I could also use an 80” television for my friend, so I would have needed a ‘ten finger discount’ on that one. And since it’s not for me, it is understandable that I can walk in and take what I want in a riotous situation.

I’m sure that millions of Republicans could use things that are outside of their budget thanks to Bidenflation, bad economic and foreign policy. We could have sent in mobs to grocery stores. I mean, who wouldn’t want to load up with tons of Allen Brothers Steak, Ice Cream, or OTC medications and supplements; and don’t forget the washing detergent, and the toilet paper. Dem apologists say that people who steal from grocery stores are only trying to feed their families. Hell yeah! We need to feed our families too. Any Republican mother can ‘identify’ as a Democrat for the same reason, and fill up their carts and just leave without paying.

Who couldn’t use a free bottle of Jack Daniel’s? GOP’ers love alcohol too, although I’d point Republican rioters to ransack the higher class alcohol suppliers; the stuff with racehorses on the cap. We’d all need to hit the convenience stores because with all this rioting we’d need some chips, beer, energy drinks, and let’s not forget hot dogs on the way out. Lottery scratch tickets are always needed, and if they are free, that’s a win-win for all Republican rioters. I’d also recommend we hit a pharmacy or two in our rioting. Who among us doesn’t need pain relief cream, especially after a night of heavy rioting? The candy aisle at pharmacies are very important, and it’s never too early to start stocking up for Halloween. And we’d also need to stock up on aspirin, since after a night of heavy drinking, we’ll need some help to recover from all that drinking and looting. And afterwards, we can enjoy our newfound goodies.

Oh my, I almost forgot guns! What rioting Republican couldn’t use more guns? I only have one per room in my house, but what Republican rioter couldn’t use two or more guns per room in their residence? Republicans are law abiding gun owners, but there is no mention in how they obtained them. So it’s OK. What’s good for the Democrat goose, is more than OK for the Republican gander.

Republicans have been missing out on so many rioting opportunities over the decades. Just think of the profits we could have racked up over the years. With the ‘Fentanyl Floyd’ riots, we guys on the right could have really cleaned up, and who would have complained? Anyone in leftist cities would have appreciated the company, and as long as you are in a hoodie and mask, Dems can’t tell the difference.

And with the situation of Democrat cities and states on both coasts, we don’t even need a reason to riot. For years, stores from San Diego to Seattle, across the Midwest, to the East Coast, have been open sieves to thieves supporting the industrial retail theft complex which forces first, the reduction in store hours, then the outright closure of over 10,000 stores; from Mom and Pops, to major retailers.

Democrat policies have allowed for large swathes of popular shopping districts to close because of unchecked tomfoolery. Try going to Beverly Hills and shopping? Nothing is open. Fisherman's Wharf in San Francisco? Nothings open. Many grocery stores along the West Coast have closed, so those looking for green beans, ground beef, or tofu; to either steal or buy, well you’re out of luck, and that goes for the upper East Coast as well.

Many GOP entrepreneurs could have become successful Amazon retailers from the spoils of organized retail theft, with everything from lifting large televisions, refrigerators, washers and dryers. And bar supply stores? What Republican doesn’t want a Tiki Bar in their house?

Yeah, we Republicans have been selling ourselves short for decades. From the Zoot Suit riots (1943), to 1967’s Long Hot Summer Riots; to the MLK Riots of ‘68, and we can’t forget the 1968 Democratic National Convention Riots (which is bound to repeat with the upcoming August DNC Convention), which we Republicans still have time to plan for.

Of course I jest in all this, but for many in Democrat states and cities, food, pharmacy, and retail store deserts are a serious and real thing. And when the law only punishes criminals for stealing more than $950 dollars worth of product, Democrat politicians are just asking for trouble. Rarely is a misdemeanor issued for stealing $700 dollars worth of anything. It’s truly a mad world in those areas, and in its surreality, the elderly are suffering, and are paying the price for voting Democrat all of those years.

Republicans don’t riot. Rioting is the domain of Democrats, who always get a free pass for their deviant ways. Republicans don’t riot because they naturally follow the Rule of Law. GOP’ers respect people and their property, and demand the same in return. Republicans respect the right of Free Speech (which Democrats hate with a passion anyone who thinks outside of their deviancy), the Right to Bear Arms, and a whole host of other laws. Laws like Democrats having no respect for the Right to Life, for babies to be born alive, and stay alive after birth.

And now with Joe Biden having left the Presidential Race, we can expect total havoc at the Democrat’s convention in Chicago next month. There is no doubt that Kamala Harris will be challenged at the DNC for the Dem nomination. Her cackle cannot be allowed to be the face of the Democrat Party.

Ruben can be reached at: ruben@montgomerycountynews.net